The weekend has passed and I have nothing to show for it but a couple of naps and a clean(ish) house. Further proof that cleanliness and order are the natural predators of creativity and fun.
Daily Bliss: berry-red, kitten-heeled mary jane shoes
Wake-up Playlist: Iron and Wine, Resurrection Fern
Showing posts with label bleah. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bleah. Show all posts
Monday, June 15, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Public Interest Announcement
Toward the best interest of my reading public, (all three of you) and so that you know it is not always homegrown-tomatoes-and-sewing-success-and-knitted-goodness around here, please take notice of the following announcements:
1) I have saggy, dark circles under my eyes as of about two o'clock this afternoon
2) I hate my job and I'm not sure how to gracefully get out of it, or even when I'll be able to
3) #2 makes the majority of my waking hours subject to unbidden daydreaming
4) #3 makes me less productive than I should be
5) I am very tired. I found myself sitting on the sofa today, with an hour and a half at my disposal. I could not, however, seem to coax my body into action. My body just sat there, leafing through old issues of InStyle Magazine that were passed on to me today and noticing dresses that it liked while my mind shouted, "What are you doing? Get up and cross something off that insurmountable list!"
6) I just wandered through the Super Wal Marts, listening to Kings of Leon on my iPod, for a two-weeks-overdue grocery trip (not that old mommies grocery shopping at Wal Mart is probably what they're after as far as an audience goes). I managed to leave there having purchased only one dinner's worth of groceries but spending over $100. Granted, we were out of almost every imaginable toiletry item. But still.
7) It's all good. Not hitting rock bottom or anything. Just feeling "bleh."
DAILY BLISS: balmy, breezy, nighttime, Florida spring air
1) I have saggy, dark circles under my eyes as of about two o'clock this afternoon
2) I hate my job and I'm not sure how to gracefully get out of it, or even when I'll be able to
3) #2 makes the majority of my waking hours subject to unbidden daydreaming
4) #3 makes me less productive than I should be
5) I am very tired. I found myself sitting on the sofa today, with an hour and a half at my disposal. I could not, however, seem to coax my body into action. My body just sat there, leafing through old issues of InStyle Magazine that were passed on to me today and noticing dresses that it liked while my mind shouted, "What are you doing? Get up and cross something off that insurmountable list!"
6) I just wandered through the Super Wal Marts, listening to Kings of Leon on my iPod, for a two-weeks-overdue grocery trip (not that old mommies grocery shopping at Wal Mart is probably what they're after as far as an audience goes). I managed to leave there having purchased only one dinner's worth of groceries but spending over $100. Granted, we were out of almost every imaginable toiletry item. But still.
7) It's all good. Not hitting rock bottom or anything. Just feeling "bleh."
DAILY BLISS: balmy, breezy, nighttime, Florida spring air
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Last Straw
So, usually I try to keep things fun here. Even when I'm blabbing about stress, I try to find the light side of things. Mostly, I just try to be honest.
But today, I'm pissed at my boss. And I think, in spite of the state of the job market, I'm looking for something else.
I work for a pastor. But, he's not like any pastor I've ever met. And I don't mean that in a good way.
I have tried to find something that I respect about him. I have tried to stand behind part of the ministry there. I haven't been able to find anything to stand behind.
And yesterday, he lit into a family at the church and said,
"You can take the trash out of the trailer, but you can't take the trailer out of the trash."
Honestly.
He told me with disgust that he doesn't touch the girls' head to bless them when the family comes up for communion because their hair looks greasy.
So, these poor girls have grown up in church being the only children that the pastor doesn't touch to bless.
There was definitely more to the conversation and I really don't want to relive the whole thing here, lest I fall into the trap of insufferable gossip that waits for me every day at work.
I'm so angry that I have itchy hives and even a nice glass of wine has not helped me much. I'm going to check out my bath tub and see if that does the trick. I know that seems a wee bit over-reactive, but it's more than the single instance. It's the build-up of such injustices over the course of the last few years. Needless to say, that's it.
I'm done.
It may take a couple of weeks to find something else, it may take a year. But I'm done. And I hope I don't say something stupid in the meantime that gets me fired.
I think it's different in a secular work environment. Maybe you could even further narrow it by saying it's different in a non-church environment. But a church - a pastor? The expectations are different - you expect to find a heart that has mercy and grace and seeks justice, that, oh, I don't know, atempts to treat others like the "least of these."
I've heard it said that the expectations shouldn't be different for a pastor (in comparison to, say, a manager). But I've heard it said by the same people that they'd better get their reserved parking space. I've seen the same people put on their clerical collar so they get better treatment at restaurants and the Post Office.
And I'm ready to spend my time in a place that reinforces my cynicism a little less.
DAILY BLISS: a leaf burn in the orange grove - smells so nice!
But today, I'm pissed at my boss. And I think, in spite of the state of the job market, I'm looking for something else.
I work for a pastor. But, he's not like any pastor I've ever met. And I don't mean that in a good way.
I have tried to find something that I respect about him. I have tried to stand behind part of the ministry there. I haven't been able to find anything to stand behind.
And yesterday, he lit into a family at the church and said,
"You can take the trash out of the trailer, but you can't take the trailer out of the trash."
Honestly.
He told me with disgust that he doesn't touch the girls' head to bless them when the family comes up for communion because their hair looks greasy.
So, these poor girls have grown up in church being the only children that the pastor doesn't touch to bless.
There was definitely more to the conversation and I really don't want to relive the whole thing here, lest I fall into the trap of insufferable gossip that waits for me every day at work.
I'm so angry that I have itchy hives and even a nice glass of wine has not helped me much. I'm going to check out my bath tub and see if that does the trick. I know that seems a wee bit over-reactive, but it's more than the single instance. It's the build-up of such injustices over the course of the last few years. Needless to say, that's it.
I'm done.
It may take a couple of weeks to find something else, it may take a year. But I'm done. And I hope I don't say something stupid in the meantime that gets me fired.
I think it's different in a secular work environment. Maybe you could even further narrow it by saying it's different in a non-church environment. But a church - a pastor? The expectations are different - you expect to find a heart that has mercy and grace and seeks justice, that, oh, I don't know, atempts to treat others like the "least of these."
I've heard it said that the expectations shouldn't be different for a pastor (in comparison to, say, a manager). But I've heard it said by the same people that they'd better get their reserved parking space. I've seen the same people put on their clerical collar so they get better treatment at restaurants and the Post Office.
And I'm ready to spend my time in a place that reinforces my cynicism a little less.
DAILY BLISS: a leaf burn in the orange grove - smells so nice!
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