So, usually I try to keep things fun here. Even when I'm blabbing about stress, I try to find the light side of things. Mostly, I just try to be honest.
But today, I'm pissed at my boss. And I think, in spite of the state of the job market, I'm looking for something else.
I work for a pastor. But, he's not like any pastor I've ever met. And I don't mean that in a good way.
I have tried to find something that I respect about him. I have tried to stand behind part of the ministry there. I haven't been able to find anything to stand behind.
And yesterday, he lit into a family at the church and said,
"You can take the trash out of the trailer, but you can't take the trailer out of the trash."
He told me with disgust that he doesn't touch the girls' head to bless them when the family comes up for communion because their hair looks greasy.
So, these poor girls have grown up in church being the only children that the pastor doesn't touch to bless.
There was definitely more to the conversation and I really don't want to relive the whole thing here, lest I fall into the trap of insufferable gossip that waits for me every day at work.
I'm so angry that I have itchy hives and even a nice glass of wine has not helped me much. I'm going to check out my bath tub and see if that does the trick. I know that seems a wee bit over-reactive, but it's more than the single instance. It's the build-up of such injustices over the course of the last few years. Needless to say, that's it.
It may take a couple of weeks to find something else, it may take a year. But I'm done. And I hope I don't say something stupid in the meantime that gets me fired.
I think it's different in a secular work environment. Maybe you could even further narrow it by saying it's different in a non-church environment. But a church - a pastor? The expectations are different - you expect to find a heart that has mercy and grace and seeks justice, that, oh, I don't know, atempts to treat others like the "least of these."
I've heard it said that the expectations shouldn't be different for a pastor (in comparison to, say, a manager). But I've heard it said by the same people that they'd better get their reserved parking space. I've seen the same people put on their clerical collar so they get better treatment at restaurants and the Post Office.
And I'm ready to spend my time in a place that reinforces my cynicism a little less.
DAILY BLISS: a leaf burn in the orange grove - smells so nice!