Now that school has started for both myself and the kids and everyone has been made aware of our ridiculous schedule by my loud complaining, I am getting lots of very nice questions.
When I run into friends, the first thing they ask is, "So, how's it going with school and everything?" I usually roll my eyes and mumble something about "overwhelmed" and you might hear me say something about feeling really old. So, I thought I'd pound out a more thorough answer here, both for you, my friends, and for myself.
Truthfully, yeah - I'm overwhelmed.
There are moments when I seriously question my sanity.
What was I thinking?
I am exhausted.
My classes are full of overly confident 20-year-olds and the only other grown-up sitting down to learn is, frankly, really weird. You know the one - they always stay after class to try and engage the professor in meaningful discussion, confident that they are already experts in the topic at hand when, in fact, they are not. She will probably not be my friend.
My husband has been traveling and, though he's at home right now, he's getting ready to leave again for a very long while. In fact, most of this semester, I will be on my own with all of this.
My English professor is way too serious about Comp II. I'm not even kidding. Right now, I'm wishing I'd gone to the trouble of finding my AP English scores. I like to write. Composition should be fun, shouldn't it?
I was complaining to Chris on the phone about all of it and he generously offered this nugget of husbandly concern: "Now are you sorry you volunteered to be the Band Booster president?"
And yes. Maybe I am. But only a little.
Most moms who go back to school talk about all the sacrifices their family makes for them to be able to chase their dreams.
I don't want to be one of those moms.
I am not exactly chasing a dream, I am seizing an opportunity that came my way and I guess I don't feel like that's reason enough to ask my family to "make sacrifices." My kids do a lot of great stuff and I like to stay involved in it. I don't intend for that to change just because I'm going to school.
At least, not yet.
Don't get me wrong - I'm grateful. I didn't appreciate the opportunity to have an education when I was 18 and I threw it away. This time around, I am humble and happy to be learning.
I'm just super uncomfortable.
Everything about this experience lies far outside the bounds of my comfort zone.
I'm two weeks in and I still don't know how it's all going to work out. My dishes aren't getting done and I'm lucky to just get my shoes put away at the end of the day. Okay, fine. I haven't even been putting my shoes away.
But the kids have gotten where they needed to be, with all of the appropriate equipment and I have only forgotten about one piano student. That's not too bad. I made it to all the Band Booster meetings and have kept up with lunch accounts at school. My first math quiz? 100%, thankyouverymuch. Music theory homework? All turned in. Every last scale with its three accompanying minor scales. Handwritten.
So, it's going well, I guess.
I just don't know for how long.
Daily Bliss: Cupcakes. I made cupcakes and I'm not sorry. I needed one. It was a cupcake emergency.
Wake-up Playlist: Lisa Hannigan, Ocean and a Rock