Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Words

How about a few words today and no pictures? I mean, I've still got the car show pictures to post at some point, but c'mon. This isn't a photography blog, now, is it?
With this tropical system - what is it, Ida? - in place, there has been no light for doing any more of those portraits. I'm starting to get concerned that I won't have what I need for my homework! Aaak! In the meantime, though, I'm building a PVC structure to hold my black backdrop so that I can take it anywhere, baby! Just like I'm some kind of real photographer!
We went to Home Depot last night to buy the pipes for it and the kids were very complain-y. They really hate going to those types of stores. They were behaving in ways that I don't normally see from my children. I was getting a little embarrassed. Then I showed them how the plumbing aisle works. How the boxes of fittings are all color-coded to indicate size and how all the fittings work with all the pipes. Like giant white Legos, kind of. Let me tell you, Emma's eyes lit up. She had Big Plans flooding her little head. It's really fun to find those random objects that spark imagination in your kids. It turned an obligatory, dreary task into a moment of fun and learning. Like magic.
We are finding our magic wherever we can these days.
Chris and I watched a little movie called The Brothers Bloom the other night. I don't typically endorse movies and I don't mean to do so now, but I rather enjoyed it and thought it was imaginative. Here's the thing I really loved about the movie: it presents a question that I ask myself often (not out loud or anything, 'cause people would think I'm nuts) - if you live your life like a story you are writing, is it really authentic? If your actions are dictated by the story you're telling, the character you're playing, instead of arising organically out of who you are, are you being real?
I mean, I live my life like it's a story all the time. I sometimes decide what I want to wear or listen to by deciding what kind of story I want to tell on that day. And I wonder if those things that I do, making decisions like I'm writing fiction, make my life less real. If my actions are dictated by an imaginary storyline, are they really, truly mine? Or are they just part of a character I made up?
It's not like the question really, truly bothers me. It was more like, I was watching that movie, identifying strongly with the female lead character (she's eccentric and she collects hobbies! hello, me!) and thinking, "Hey! I totally get what they're saying here!" in a way that doesn't usually happen.
So. Anyway. Cute movie.
My neck MRI turned up little more than normal wear and tear, which is a good thing. Just a little smidge of something that was caused by the accident, but overall, my biggest problem will be that herniated disc in my low back. That was a relief. It looks like I'll only be in physical therapy another couple of weeks at the most, which is also a relief. I'm looking forward to having my life back. I'm even looking forward to the schedule I'd originally worked for this fall, thinking at the time that it would be nearly an impossible schedule to follow. Turns out, it would be almost a vacation in comparison to what life has brought us.
I don't mean that in a bad way, a woe-is-me-way or any kind of negative way at all. I'm just tired. I'm ready to find my mojo again. I want to feel like I'm creative and spontaneous instead of feeling like I'm ruled by the next item on my list. Constantly. And I want to breathe. I want to have time to shave. Big-time. I want to look forward to Christmas this year instead of dreading the stress and hassle.
Will the End of Physical Therapy mean all those things? Nope. But right now, it feels like a step in the right direction.

Daily Bliss: blossoms on my bean plants and a tomato plant that's thriving!
Wake-Up Playlist: Coldplay, The Scientist

3 comments:

claibornes corner said...

Ya see - it's hard ain't it? Time and all the things we want (have) to do with our creative side! I can't ever pick out my stage clothes for the show until I decide "who" I am for that night! It's always last minute and depends on how I feel!!! And I'm glad you're going to be OK - just get thru the PT - I hated it too..

Mary said...

I like words.

I'm so glad that you are looking forward to a more relaxed "busy by choice" sort of schedule. It's good to get back to inspiration.

Amy said...

I'm praying that you'll find balance and rest soon. And when you're a super-awesome-in-demand photographer, it will all be worth it ;)