Shameless

I made a shameless attempt to be a cool mom this weekend. Shameless. Well, there was a little shame involved. We had the big pizza party today, so I had to go shopping last night for snacks (WalMart at 11:00 PM - ugh!). I trudged mindlessly around the store, having finally made it, and started grabbing stuff I knew would be cool.
I really want to be a cool mom. More than I ever wanted to be a cool teenager. I had two brothers, so I know a little bit about what boys like to do when they're hanging out. Mostly, those things involve junk food and video games. See? I've got this down!
Anyway, I'm getting off track. I grabbed all the junk that I never keep in my house. Trans-fats, sugar sodas, puffy things coated in powdered cheese substitute and other such delights began to fill my cart. As I headed for the check-out lane, the red blush of hot shame began to creep up my neck into my face. What must all these people be thinking of me? I was sure every woman would be judging me, a 30-ish woman, all by herself in the middle of the night with a cart full of junk.
I take pride (maybe that's my problem) in filling my grocery cart with organic rice milk, interesting fresh vegetables, whole grain bread and brown rice. I love it when the people scanning my items ask me what jicama is and how to cook it. It makes me feel so wholesome and motherish. But here I was, my cart full of oreos and freezie pops, chips and soda. I was compelled to smile at people near me and point to my items, declaring with an exaggerated eye-roll, "Sleepover!" just so they knew.
Then I realized,"Hey! I'm at WalMart! My cart STILL looks healthier than most of the other ones in here!"
Of course, I went through all the other mental conversation about ignoring the perception of judgment where there probably is none. But mostly, the successful pep talk was reminding myself that I was still doing okay compared to everyone else.
And then I handed the Oreos back to the cashier. I told her that I didn't really think we were going to need ALL of this. She just nodded and didn't really care.

DAILY BLISS: Having eight children in the house and handling it well, painting lots of porch trim, and then having a hot shower to wash off most of the paint.