Now It's Personal

So, Darla (who runs a GED program that meets at the church where I work) walked into my office today and laughed at me because I was working on my Christmas cards.
Yup. Christmas cards.
I understand that this is pretty funny, but...it's personal. I have been fighting with these cards for three months now, and with the idea of actually sending Christmas cards for several years. Every year, I say I'm going to do it and I have never gotten to it.
Not this year, I promised myself.
This would be the year I finally sent them.
I had a plan for just how cute they'd be. I was going to do the little photo cards that everybody sends, and my children would be wearing hand-knit stocking caps (in Christmas colors, of course) for their close-ups. Do you remember how furiously I was knitting around Thanksgiving time? It was so that I could finish those hats before we went to the mountains for Thanksmas. Because I was sure that the magic photo would happen in an idyllic woodland setting, with jackets and stocking caps. Birds might even land on my children's shoulders and a deer would meander by just in time for me to capture it for posterity. Oh yes. These were going to be beautiful Christmas cards.
Except they weren't. The mountains weren't cold this year. And my children - they are old hands at the photo shoot deal - acted like novices. Screwing up their faces and not offering me the sincere, pensive poses that I have coaxed out of them in the past. Scratching at their wool caps and sweating like it was August. I took 253 shots of them in their stocking caps in the mountains. Over the course of two days.
Because this year was going to be the year that I finally sent Christmas cards.
And did I get that money shot? No indeed. Usually I can get that one perfect shot amid 25 to 35 other shots.
Maybe they will be funny cards, I told myself.
But I couldn't bring myself to look at them to pick one. None of them were flattering. None of them told the story of our year with one glance. None of them fulfilled my hopes and dreams for Our First Christmas Cards.
Then the holidays happened to me. You guys were there. You remember. It was pretty bad. It was accidentally-sneezing-a-loogie-into-your-coffee bad. It was getting-caught-plucking-a-chin-hair bad.
The Christmas cards did not get ordered.
But I didn't forget.
About two weeks ago, I finally managed to cobble together a pretty cute card. I ordered my cards with a funny little message. Better late than never, they said. Two weeks after Christmas? Not too shabby for a first go. I got them home and got out my address book. Then I noticed that they didn't have envelopes with them. Don't these things, which come in weird shapes and sizes, come with envelopes? I was indignant. I was going to march straight into WalMart and ask for my envelopes. That is, when I had time to get there. I had picked up the photos during my weekly stop and I just didn't get there until my next weekly stop. Actually, it was a little longer than that. Oh well.
But the lady behind the photo counter told me that they don't, in fact, come with envelopes. Even the photo center can't order envelopes for these cards that the foist upon unwitting, half-crazy women who are battling it out with the forces of the universe in order to send a joyous, heartfelt and uncannily witty post-holiday greeting.
Try the office supplies aisle, she suggested helpfully.
No dice.
Several days later, I had to send my husband on one of those grocery store runs for the five items you neglected to pick up when you were there. Sometimes, husbands are pretty sure that you do this on purpose, hoping they will accidentally knock a bouquet of flowers into their cart for you. They would not be completely off-base in that assumption. I'm just saying, it'd be nice once in a while.
Anyhoo, the grocery store is right next to the office supply store, which seemed convenient enough.
And here we are, it is the last weekend of January, and my dear husband called me from the office supply store and told me I'd have to pay for a box of 100 envelopes, even though I ordered a bare-minimum 25 cards. Oh well. That pretty much doubled the price of the cards.
At this point, it's personal. These Christmas cards are something that I will conquer. They will go forth into the United States Postal System and do my bidding. They will bend to my will (insert maniacal laughter).
And that brings us to today. I sat at my desk today, working on addressing my Christmas cards. I hope I will have them sent out by Valentines Day. That should put my Valentines out to about Easter.

DAILY BLISS: watching an alligator glide across the middle of a lake - slow and silent

P.S.
I only got two takers on the pay-it-forward game, and I presume it's because most of you don't have blogs or are already playing, so here's the deal. I promised to send out three handmade gifts. The first person to post a comment asking for a handmade goodie from me gets it. The catch? You can't already be playing the game.