My heart has been so heavy. My grandpa is not going to make it - it's just a matter of when. My dad is up north with his family and now they are waiting.
So I dragged my heart out to the porch today. The storms seemed to be rolling in for the afternoon, and the amount of rumbling promised big ones. There are few things that speak to my heart like storms - the moon, maybe, but little else. I brought with me a project that was just enough work to still my mind. The sky lit up and the thunder growled endlessly. It threatened and it even bullied my tired wind chimes into choking out two or three hot, muffled notes. Still no rain.
As I sat waiting, I remembered my dad, his brothers, and doubtless, nieces and nephews keeping their sad vigil. Waiting for something that all the signs say should already be here. Grandpa opened his eyes long enough to recognize them and hear them tell him it was okay to go. He's just not gone yet. Neither medicine nor Hospice can explain why he is still alive.
My front door opened and my son told me the stove timer had gone off some time ago. Had I already waited that long? I guess I had. And still, no rain. I put down my work and came inside, tied on my apron and set about the business of dinner. And then the sky finally let go.
3 comments:
Oh, my friend, I feel for you. It's almost four years now since we lost my grandfather. His death tore our hearts apart and bound us all together in an amazing way as we shared stories and celebrated his life. I'll cry with you and would love to hear your favorite memory of him. :)
How I wish I could have sat with you on the porch. I wouldn't have said anything. I would have sat in the loving silence that exists between friends like you and me, and just understood. I miss you and my heart is with you.
-Becky
Isn't God beautiful, He directs, instructs and shows off His incredible power. Always maintaining our best interest in His timing and His love? Thanks for sharing your moments.
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