Today was my Blessed Monday Off - the second one in a summer-long series (I hope to offer it an extended contract once school starts). Perhaps I have just put too much expectation on my Mondays. I have long looked toward it for peace and crafting and feeling on-top-of-things-around-here. And it didn't happen that way today. It all started out well. I had a very interesting conversation with some other parents today at swimming lessons about church and the different way that we worship and also about how marriage relationships mirror our relationship with God in unexpected ways. That was awfully invigorating for 8:00 in the morning.
But after I took Drew to camp, I came home to do my checkbook make my grocery list. Checkbook stress is a given and I can get over checkbook stress. It happens to me a lot. But here's where the expectation comes in: I am always trying to be mindful of efficiency, particularly now with the high price of gas and food. I shop at the Super Wal Mart because it saves me a lot of money, but it's kind of a drive out there. So I tried to organize all my errands today around the one trip. But I'm also trying to shop for two weeks at a time in order to cut down on gas. So, I had to plan out two weeks of cooking, household items, sewing, summer activities and celebrations and bills to pay and such. As soon as we were far enough away from the house, I realized that I'd forgotten the all the equipment for one of the stops - my checkbook and a gift for someone at the school office. So that means I'll be making two trips anyway. So much for efficiency.
We stopped for fast food because it was better to just get a move on and try to get home at a decent time. That was fun. Here's the evidence and a rare glimpse of the Tweenage Male in his native environment (i.e. anywhere french fries are found):
But Wal Mart. Oh, awful, awful land of crowds and flourescent lighting! I spent two hours in there with children who wanted anywhere else and who bumped into me every time I stopped (out of sheer boredom) and who wanted to "help" push the cart (straight into other peoples' hinies) and who "joked" about wanting to buy that big bag of sugar-frosted white-flour cereal (that I have never said yes to) and who "didn't complain" by groaning and moaning....
By the time I got home, I had flunked the efficiency test and flunked a lot of the mommy tests too. This is the point at which I put my "real life" on display: I have been a mean mommy today. I didn't play board games and I didn't watch a cartoon with them and I didn't laugh at all of their jokes and I even snapped some - or more than some. I said "no" more times than I can count today and I said "hush" more times than I think I should have and I answered the question of "why?" with "because it's annoying," even though I have never thought that an appropriate response to a child.
But for all my disappointments today in myself and in my environment, I am still glad it all happened on my Monday Off. Blessed Monday. If I'd had to deal with this on, say, a Tuesday night, all would have been lost. At least now, it's all done. Two weeks' worth of it is done. And I have the hope of next Monday Off for fun and games and I have a husband who stopped by home to say "hi" and caught us in the middle of the chaos. He's a good one, that man. He brought home chocolate and a movie.
DAILY BLISS: $5 pants at Old Navy and easy-to-fix hair (just mess it up and go!)
8 comments:
Those mommy moments happen so easily- and they usually happen at Wal-Mart. Seriously, that's enough to push anybody over the edge. And if it makes you feel any better I *almost* told my sweet, precious little Chloe to "shut your cakehole" the other day. I stopped myself just in the nick of time. I hardly ever use that phrase except in jest. She had complained about something incredibly insignificant being unfair- it's a pet peeve of mine.
I hope your next Monday lives up to your expectations. I suspect though, that they're really happy to have that day with you.
Oh my - Andrew is so big. I have noticed the eating- of everything. He polishes off as much as he can get away with. The more he eats the taller he will be - I just know it. It's like it collects in his legs and then he has to stretch up to hold all of it - thus he gets taller and taller and....oh my..
Oh how I relate. Happy Tuesday to you and may your next Monday hold many opportunities for redemption.
I agree that the response to "why?" should be real and feelings should be considered. But I do remember being shut down abruptly and even rudely as a kid and learning more from that than the so called healthy response.
I stumbled onto your blog this afternoon, and I can relate! I too loathe the lighting in Wal-Mart! :)
Hey Liz! Thanks so much for dropping a comment! And thanks for the solidarity.
Oh - and, Mom? I suppose it's been so long that I don't really remember when and long enough ago to be really good at it :)
There are a few rules, though:
1) Sparingly in front of my mom
2) Seldom in front of my dad
3) Never in front of my children
4) Always in front of my brothers
Hmmm - you left some one very important out. Remembering where He is most of the time has always curbed my tongue. But I do rock with rule 4 - only enough to make the shock factor still work.
I thought I left a comment on here, but it didn't go through! Anyway, you're certainly not alone. I can't believe some of the responses to "WHY" come out of my mouth in the classroom. Let's see, "I said so, now leave me alone." Or "Because you're irritating me." And the ever lovely, "I don't know, I guess I just don't like you right now." Oy! (All they want to do is go to the bathroom or watch the P.E. classes!)
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