Monday, April 5, 2010

A Letter of Apology

Dear Innocent Bystanders in the Southgate Publix Parking Lot:

I offer you all my most sincere apologies.
When I put on a dress this morning, I neglected to check the weather forecast. I didn't know there would be mischievous gusts of wind lurking in the parking lot.
Had I been a Responsible Citizen, I would have (a) taken care of that slight wedgie, making sure there was even coverage, (b) been more careful getting out of the car, and (c) lost 15 pounds before you were forced to see my kit and kaboodle.
I'm sorry.
I did my best to control the damage. I quickly straightened out the front of the dress only to have the back fly out behind me. As I grabbed the back, the front swirled straight out again.
I really thought that sort of thing only happened in cartoons. I have learned my lesson.
Plus, I really hope that I don't know any of you.
I mean it.

<3 me


Denise said...

Oh goodness...that happened to me and a fellow skirt in front of a male co-worker...I think I was 15 shades of red.

Amy Button said...

I'm it bad that I laughed out loud?

frabjouspoet said...

Oh. My. I hope you don't mind that this made me laugh. This is one of those "real life" moments that I'm so glad you're willing to share.

Jessica said...

HA! Best thing ever. The exact same thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago in the parking lot of the pediatricians office in front of the windows where people were waiting. That made for an awkward wait. Sorry for your misfortune, but glad I'm not alone :)

Christy said...

Oh mercy - it's sooo okay that you all laughed! I sure did :) Right after I screamed a little bit.

Mary said...

Happened to me too. Big purple skirt, sometime in the early 90's right in front of the doors of a midsize Baptist church (probably in Alabama) Thank goodness it was when we were leaving and not when we were arriving. The anointing may not have flowed quite as freely.

Christina said...

This post is proof positive that you are a writer (among many other awesome things)!

Also, my experience is that these things happen when all your cute lacy underwear are dirty and you're wearing ravely faded old knickers. Hope you were a little luckier than me. :)

Miss you!

claibornes corner said...

You know that happened to me at the beach last week - the wind blew my dress up and I grabbed my hat - a little boy said lady you don't have on any underwear - I said listen little boy what you're looking at is almost 60 years old and this hat is brand new!!!!!

mindy said...

i, too, feel bad for laughing but i just can't help it! i always knew you had exhibitionist tendencies. ;)